Cooking School,  Diary

Fog Wall and a Broken Heart

The value of this cooking school journey reaches way beyond the classroom.  My core persona is being tested again and again.

Anxiety Test: On my 2nd night of 4-5 hours of sleep, driving back from the city, my eyes grow weary and the air turns solid!  I hit a Fog Wall.  Driving at grandma speeds, barely seeing the lines of the freeway, which keep me from rolling down the hillside, my anxiety takes control and suddenly I picture deer jumping out in front of me causing me to swerve out of control (which didn’t happen).   Meanwhile, I’m just 2 exits away, when I decide to get off the freeway only to drive through what seemed to be a ghost town hidden in the fog.  My heart still pounding as I am inching my way home, I repeat to myself, “You want this (cooking school)!  You love this.  You will not let fog get in your way!  And, I finally make it!

Test of the Heart:  Week three begins with a Broken Heart on my anniversary.  Aside from learning of my grandmother’s accident, a five hour flight away, placing her in ICU for 2 weeks, I am crushed by one of those low spots on the roller coaster of marriage.  Having been through challenges before in our relationship, I choose to be patient and trust that we would only get stronger and closer together from this moment in time.  But, when your in it, those of you who have been in it know how isolating, doubt provoking, and torturous it can be especially when you have to keep it all together so that the kids don’t absorb any of the pain.  Cooking this week became my therapy and helped me get through this hard time.  Luckily, my husband does love me , as I do him, and finally we were able to talk through our issues.  And, our once broken emotional emulsion, now has become tighter and seasoned just right!IMG_7938.jpg

Making the emulsion of herb mayonnaise from scratch reminds me of the hard and tiring work a relationship is at times.  There is pain from whipping the eggs, there is fear and uncertainty if you will break the mayonnaise and have to try to fix it or start over, and finally there is deliciousness when you stick it out and do it just right.

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